“Katie Couric Not Center of Known Universe”

The presidential election was decided over two months ago, but Governor Palin has kept talking. She continues to be as enlightening after the election, as she was before the election. In an incredible pronouncement, Governor Palin said, “Katie Couric is not the center of everyone’s known universe.” Astronomers all over the world immediately concurred with Governor Palin in her assessment. It is rumored that Katie Couric however were shocked to find out that she was not the center of the universe. This will no doubt put a damper into her next contract negotiations.

When Governor Palin was asked how she decided that Katie Couric wasn’t the center of the universe, Governor Palin replied, “I just decided.” End of discussion on that topic.

Still upset with what she feels was an unfair portrayal of her during it presidential campaign Governor Palin has been speaking her mind about the various injustices she suffered. In an interview posted on the Internet Governor Palin blasted what she says was the mainstream news media’s regular use of unsubstantiated and often anonymous blogging in its reporting. If Governor Palin stands by her words, the one she used during the interviews she gave during the campaign, then there is no need for anyone to resort to anonymous blogging. Governor Palin came across in a way that enabled everyone to make a judgment about her capability to be the vice president of the United States. That judgment was a resounding NO WAY!

In our recent interview Governor Palin also said, “Of course I read newspapers,” putting an end to the scurrilous rumors that the governor was a non-reader. While Governor Palin was having her say, she managed to take a shot at Caroline Kennedy. Governor Palin said “I’ve been interested to see how Caroline Kennedy will be handled. As we watch that, we’ll be able to prove that there’s a class issue here.” It’s not clear what class Governor Palin is referring to. Perhaps she’s referring to the difference the way the press treats a self-described pit-bull soccer mom and a graduate of Columbia Law School. It wouldn’t be fair to treat them differently. Would it? Sphere: Related Content

Posted by Neil Benson at 8:09 PM 0 comments Links to this post

President Bush Celebrates Successful Presidency

At his last press conference, President Bush described the great successes of his presidency. Even though there was gasping, and cries of foul from most of the press, the president went on to list the accomplishments of his eight years as president of the United States. Among them are the following:

The short, successful war in Iraq that resulted in a democracy being established in less than two years, with a minimum of civilian casualties. The president also cited the fact that the war had come in well under budget, costing the American taxpayer less than $100 billion.

Tax cuts that didn’t increase the deficit, but rather decreased the deficit to the point that were it not for the slight recession, budget surpluses would be part of the Bush legacy.

Leaving an economy that was basically sound except for the mild recession, which should not last more than a couple of months. The president cited the excellent work of Secretary of the treasury Paulsen and chairman of the Federal Reserve Bernanke in preventing the housing crisis from becoming more than a minor problem for the economy and the people of America.

The major accomplishment in reviving the status of American manufacturing was the reestablishment of General Motors, Ford, and Chrysler as the dominant automakers in the world. Each of the big three automakers is now thoroughly solvent and have taken significant market share from Toyota.

The president was also proud of his administration’s ability to obtain the cooperation of Al Qaeda and Taliban detainees without the use of any coercive measures. Only one prisoner of war was ever housed at the Guantánamo facility, and that person had a speedy trial in the civilian courts.

President Bush spoke at length about his commitment to the civil liberties of all Americans and his refusal to use wiretaps and other covert unconstitutional surveillance techniques despite the pressure from the Democratic Party.

At the end of the press conference the president was given a standing ovation by all members of the press, many of whom shouted, “Four more years, four more years.”

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